Mass Effect 4: Fighting My Way Back to You
by Felanie
Summary: With the reapers defeated and Shepard stranded on the Citadel, will he be able to make contact and get extraction. With the Normandy crew believing Shepard to be dead, are left to deal with his death and the remnants of Cerberus. Will Shepard be able to find his way back to his crew. May turn M later.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters.

Chapter 1

The pain pulsated through my body, there was no way I could stand, but I had to. I slowly, painfully, pushed myself up. All around me was destruction, bodies… and keepers. Was I in the citadel? A million different memories flashed through my mind, showing me everything that had happened in our final battle against the reapers. The pain of all these memories flooding through my head sent me back to ground. I grabbed my head the sharp pain feeling like someone was taking a precision laser to my skull. "Oh…. God…" I breathed out. I lay here for while as the pain inside my head began to subside. When I realized, the reapers were dead, the war was finally over. The whole galaxy was saved, the crucible, I activated the crucible and it worked. With new found energy I pushed myself to my feet and stood amongst the ruins of the Citadel.

My body screamed at me, but I pushed it to the back of my mind as I started to move. I needed to figure out where in the Citadel I was, the place was unrecognizable from where it was occupied by the reapers. "No part I recognize." This could be bad; I needed to make contact with someone outside the Citadel, I didn't want to end up stuck here. The whole galaxy was probably still trying to recuperate who knew when they would actually come to the Citadel. I brought my hand to my ear trying my com. "Joker, its Shepard can you hear me?" Instead of an answer I received an electrical shock from my ear com. "Ahh, damn it." I said taking it from my ear and throwing it to the ground. "I guess I won't be using that, I'll need to find a way of communicating around here I guess, but of course I don't exactly know where I am." I looked around, it didn't look like there was any threats around but… "I'm gonna need a weapon, better safe than sorry." Even with the threat of the reapers gone, I always felt better with a gun in my hand.

My pistol, I had it when I activated the crucible and destroyed the reapers, it had to be around here somewhere. I searched all around, kicking the rubble away to look under it. "Damn, nothing… I gotta keep moving." I started to go again, trying to keep watch on my surroundings, and stay upright at the same time. It was a little harder to do than I thought it would be. But I managed to make my way around the Citadel. Than I finally caught a break, the body of a c-sec officer lay in front of me. I looked down at him; he must have been here when the reapers took over the Citadel. He probably died protecting the many civilians, died like a good soldier. But I had no time to think I needed the pistol that was in his charred hand. I tried to remove it from his grasp without causing to much damage to his body. But his hand seemed to be wielded to it. So the only thing I was getting it was if his hand came off, and I did what I had to do. I looked it over; it was the standard c-sec pistol but… "This pistol doesn't have a thermal clip." Of course this would happen to me again. Well I guess you take what you can get.

A ruckus came from behind, I turned as fast as my body would allow, and pointing the useless gun in the direction the noise came from. But of course it was just another keeper, still trying to keep the Citadel up and running. I lowered my pistol and exhaled the breath I didn't know I was holding. That was when I finally recognized where I was. Right across from where I was, was c-sec headquarters. That meant a way to contact someone, no anyone outside the Citadel. Not thinking, I ran as fast as I could. When I was inside I was out of breath, just from the short distance I ran, my injuries must have been worse than I thought, but I didn't take the time to asses them, I had my mind set on my mission and I would get it done. Just like every where else it was a disaster here as well. I tried to use the communication screen on the wall, but of course it wasn't working, and when I finally found something it only barely worked. It was a desk com. And the screen was out but it looked like the radio was still working. "Lets hope I can make contact." I looked down at the screen and turned it on, here goes nothing. "This Commander Shepard, I'm at the Citadel is anyone there?" I waited a few moments before I tried again. "I repeat this Commander Shepard, is anyone there?" I again waited for a response. After a few minutes, of listening to the crackling of the radio, although it felt like an eternity, I tried again. "This is Commander Shepard, is there anyone there?" Then a voice that was barely audible through the crackling came through. "Com- Shepard?" I leaned closer to the screen, "Yes this is Shepard." I waited, the voice didn't answer, so I spoke louder. "Yes this is Commander Shepard, who am I spe4aking with!?" "Commander ar- you… -ere, thi- is … -jor Coats." "Coats, this is Shepard, but I can barely hear you!" "Shep- where ar- you?" "I'm at the Citadel, I need extraction." I couldn't stop the smile that came to my face. As we made plans for my extraction from the citadel, the only thing I could think about was seeing my team again, more particularly her… Tali' Zorah vas Normandy.

A.N. Well there you go the first chapter. I don't know about anyone else but the ending for Mass Effect 3 just didn't cut it for me. So I decided to right a better ending and to continue it. In this Shepard is paragon and romanced Tali. Oh by the way my brother just told me that bioware is releasing the mass effect trilogy, and for someone whose family has a PS3 and hasn't been able to play the very first Mass Effect, it makes me very excited. Well any way, review if you like it.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect.

Chapter 2

I looked down at the name plate that lay in my hands, running my fingers across the name etched into it. I felt the tears slide down my face and land on to the plate. I had removed my mask, not caring about the chance of getting sick. I needed to breathe the air that he did, none of the crew had said anything when I couldn't place his name on the remembrance wall, or when I headed to the captain's quarters. It was like they somehow sensed my need to be as close to what was left of him as possible. "Stupid Bosh Tet…" I whispered, the tears bleared my vision and I could no longer make out the letters that formed his name.

How could he have gone in there alone, the image of his face as he said his final words to me, the look of hope and love, hope that I would survive, that he could stop the reapers, the love for me, was always present in my mind. How could he do that if he knew that it would separate us? I would rather die by his side than live without him. I lay down on his bed and pulled the plate closed to my chest. I turned my face into his pillow and breathed in deeply. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine him here with me. I could feel him lay down behind me and wrap his arms around me, he whispered that it would be okay, and placed a soft kiss on my temple, and than I felt nothing.

* * *

"Tali..." Edie's voice slowly came through and I opened my eyes still hazy from sleep. "Tali you are needed on the bridge." She continued. I slowly pushed myself to a sitting position and immediately regretted it. My head was pounding, I had snot slowly dripping from my nose, and my throat was soar. That's what I get for sleeping with my mask of.

"Keelah…" I brought my hand to my forehead searching for a fever. "Tali? Are you alright?" Edie's voice made my head pulsate even harder.

"Yes Edie I'm fine, I'll be right there." I said through gritted teeth. "First I need to do some decontamination." I stood and had to brace myself against the wall so I wouldn't fall. I looked around the room for my mask and found it leaning against the wall across the room. Not a very far distance but in my state it felt like it was several cliques away.

I pushed myself off the wall and made my way across the room as fast as I could. "Son of Bitch…" I finally got to the other wall and lent against it. I slid down the slowly and sat next to my mask. Reaching down I grabbed it and placed on my face. Right away it made it easier to breath, but I was just getting started.

I headed towards the nightstand, pulling the top drawer open I reached in and began to bring out the necessary supplies. I couldn't help but smile, ever since… we happened, he insisted on keeping my medical supplies in his room. He was always thoughtful like that. I looked up my eyes landing on my own face and my smiled dropped. I turned my head; the happy look on my face was so different to how I feel now, I couldn't stand to look at it. Reaching over I slammed the picture down and than started my decontamination process.

* * *

I walked out of the elevator and onto the bridge. My headache was now gone but my nose was still running and my throat was scratchy, not to mention various other ailments. As soon as I entered, the buzz of the crew was stunning. I was so down and wanted to do nothing I figured it be that way for everybody. "Tali." I turned at my name and came face to face with the Cerberus cheerleader herself.

"Miranda?" I was positive you could hear the confusion in my voice but she determined not to show it. She turned and motioned for me to follow her. I was hesitant at first but soon decided to do as she wanted.

"Miranda what are you doing here?" I asked, she held up here hand to stop me from continuing. She than turned to a crewmate who than gave her something to sign. When he left, she turned back to me, what was going on she was acting like she was the… commander.

"Tali I'm here acting as your commander, while we hunt down the remnants of Cerberus." She stated as if it was obvious. I know she couldn't see my shocked features, but Miranda was smart and quickly figured out my surprise. She grabbed my arm and dragged me to a secluded area.

"I don't… understand." The thought of a new commander, even though the old one was gon- I couldn't even bring myself to think that. This thought was startling to say the least.

"Tali, I know that your upset and I understand why. You weren't the only one who lost him." That stung as if she had slapped me herself, she continued, "But did you really think that the world would just stop without him here. It keeps going and so have we. We've been assigned by what's left of the Council to eliminate the remnants of Cerberus." The next thing that came to mind was, why had they chose Miranda to be the Commander, there was plenty of better choices for the job. Like Ashley or Garrus… why her?

Before I could ask she answered my question. "The only reason they chose me was because of the fact that I have more knowledge about Cerberus than anybody. As soon as this business is taken care of I assure you someone else will be appointed." I nodded in understanding, to stunned to speak.

"Good, now let's get to work." She walked off returning to her business and leaving me standing there lost in my own thought.

* * *

I walked into the conference room and to my place by Garrus. He looked at me and gave me a sad knowing smile. With Garrus there it made here feel a little calmer, he was the best friend I had and I knew he missed Shepard almost as much as I do. He was much better at not showing it than me, it was almost like he could have been wearing the mask.

"We suspect their hiding in these sectors here, here and here." She pointed at the areas on the map, marking them with red dots. "The plan is to send out a message that is supposed to be from Cerberus control and the Illusive man himself. We know the frequency they should be expecting any messages they would receive from him. Luckily, most people aren't aware of his death." A gasp escaped my lips before I could stop it. Apparently I had missed a lot while I was holed up in… his room.

Miranda chose to ignore my ignorance and continue with the mission specs. It seemed we would be heading for the first sector today they would be separating into groups of three and each will take out any groups of Cerberus that are still around.

"Now lets assign are teams, with me will be Commander Ashley and James." I almost couldn't stop myself from making a sound of disgust. Of course she would team herself with two humans, it seems her ties to Cerberus may have been cut, but her prejudices were still there. Garrus snickered beside me as if sensing my inner trouble. It made me want to laugh but instead tears slid down my face, I was glad for once for my mask so it could hide my weakness, the fact that Shepard wasn't there to laugh with us stopped me from doing so myself.

"Then there will be Garrus and his team of Tali and Edie." I nodded showing her I accepted my orders. "Very good we'll be there in a couple hours so I suggest you prepare." She left at that, and I turned to Garrus.

"Well isn't this a nice surprise to find you out and about." He said teasing me in only a way Garrus could. I couldn't stop my smile.

"I really wouldn't be out here if it weren't for this." I motioned my arm around the room.

"I understand, I'm just saying this might do you some good to be around people and not by yourself all the time." I sighed and turned my head watching as the last of the crew exited.

"Garrus… how…" I sighed again looking at him; he raised his eyebrow and motioned for me to continue. "How do you deal with it? I mean I see you and you seem so unaffected and… cool." He smirked at me when I said the last part, great just what I needed to feed his already oversized ego. "Oh come on Garrus I know you were close to him, you were his best friend. "

"You really what to know what I do?" I nodded emphatically, desperately needing a way to deal with this, this pain. "Are you sure?"

"Garrus?" I snapped I was in no mood for more games.

"Alright, alright, if you have to know, I just don't think about it." That's it wanted to yell and as if he knew my thought he continued. "Yes that's it, I throw myself into work, there's a lot of that to be done. And than when there is no more work left, that's when I turn to the bar."

"The bar? As in you get drunk?" I asked skeptically.

"Yep." His answer was short and to the point. "Well now that I've answered your question, I better go prepare" He did air quotations when he said the word prepare, telling me what I already knew, he was always prepared. He left after that.

Deciding to take his advice I reluctantly left the room and walked across the bridge and waited for the door to the cockpit to open. I continued down the hall till I came to Joker's seat. "Look Miranda I know where were going, you don't have to tell me again. God you act like I'm a two year ol- Tali?" He said as he turned around to find me there.

"Oh… Hey I wasn't ah… I wasn't expecting… hey, how are you doing?" This was going to be harder than I thought, Joker was acting like I was some fragile minded child… am I though? The thought popped into my head and I immediately pushed it away. No I am strong, I can do this.

"I'm doing… fine, how are you Joker?" I asked my voice only quavered on fine but I don't think he noticed.

"Good, um good. Well um, is there anything I can do for you?" Great just what I needed Joker the laziest guy on Normandy offering to do something for me I must look as pathetic as I feel.

"No, no I was just coming to say hi to you an Edie," I turned to where Edie sat, "Hi Edie, well um I have to go… prepare, bye." I turned to leave.

"Hey Tali, everything will get bettered sooner or later, um well you'll never feel quite the same but… um well you know." That was Joker's idea of comfort, if I wasn't so depressed I probably would have had a sarcastic comeback for him.

Instead I said, "Thank you, Joker." Then I left, when I walked down the corridor, I could here them talking in hushed tones.

"I know I know Edie but what else could I say?"

"Jeff you should have tried to comfort her more, that is the respectable response to grief in this culture." Edie answered.

"Jeez Edie how was I supposed to do that, can't you see she's a mess." When the door shut behind me all I could hear was the buzz of the crew doing there duties. With there words still ringing in my ears I decided to try Garrus's other advice and headed to the only place I could keep myself busy, the engine room.

* * *

I walked out of the building I was told to rest in, in a new set of N7armor and my wounds all taken care of, into the fray of craziness that was London. I kept going, stepping over rubble here and wounded refugee there, I again thought what I did when I finally got back to earth. This place looks like hell.

Finally reaching my destination, I came to stop in front of the base of the only military left on the whole planet. "Identify yourself." Ordered the soldier keeping guard, he was Turian and quite short which was odd for them.

"Commander Shepard." The shock on his face was not surprising, after all most of everybody thought I was dead. He than turned and talked in a hush tone to someone in his ear com, no doubt it was Major Coats, from the way the voice coming from the ear com sounded.

"Yes sir, I understand sir… Yes sir I'll send him… yes sir I'm sorry for wasting your time…" The ear com than cut out, I tried to stop the chuckle and failed, than I tried to cover it up with a cough. "You can go in." He glared at me as he stepped aside to let me in.

As soon as I was inside I saw Coats near the corner of the only room in this building that wasn't rubble. There was only at most 50 soldiers all of different race, it should have surprised me that they were all willing to serve under a human, the youngest of all the races. But I guess the "end" of the world can cause crazier things. "Shepard" Coats voice broke me from my thoughts.

"Coats," I came to where he was standing. "How are things going here?" I wanted to know right away how they were planning to go about gathering all refugees and beginning reconstruction.

"Not great, but it could be worse. We've been sending out extraction teams looking for survivors." He brought up a new map. "We've found a little over a thousand in London and the surrounding areas, we've been taking them to any building still left standing, but our supplies won't last forever. As for the rest of the world, we haven't received any messages or S.O.S. from anyone. When things are more stable here, will try and send out some reconnaissance. Until than will take care of are people here, while we start reconstruction."

I listened intently, paying attention to every detail. "It sounds like you have things under control for now, how much longer do you think the supplies will last?" He thought a minute before answering me.

"A month maybe two." His answer was not the one I wanted. "Will have to get help from off planet, have we had any contact with anybody?"

The frown lines on his face deepened as he answered. "Some from the Turians and even the Kroegans, but no one else." That isn't good, they must be having almost if not as bad as us.

"Nothing from the Asari or Salarians?" I knew the Asari home world was hell, but the fact that the Celarians stayed out of the war for the most part made me think they would be better off than most.

"The Asari, haven't uttered a peep, and the Salarians aren't answering anything on their part." I sighed, I knew the Salarians were too happy with the resistance since I decided not to keep the genophage intact, but this was a little extreme. We all need to work together at this time.

"Well as soon I can get back to the Normandy I can go there myself and make them help." There was a sharp intake of breath next to me, causing me to look to see a strained look on Coats' face. "What's wrong?"

"Shepard, we haven't been able to make contact with the Normandy. Even if we had you can't leave your needed here." I felt a frown crease my face, and I waited a moment to gather my thought before I answered.

"If I went back to the Normandy, I would be able to help Earth more than I ever could here." I challenged him to prove me wrong. He shook his head as I spoke.

"Shepard, I can't allow you to go, you're a Hero, you being here would keep hope in the refugees and the soldiers, cause them to want to work harder to rebuild, they need you here."

"My crew needs me." I stated this as firmly as possible without sounding threatening. Tali needs me, I wanted to add, but thought better of it knowing it wouldn't help my argument. The fact that Tali was on the Normandy is the main reason I want to go back, but not the only one, my crew was also on the list.

"Shepard…"

"No," I stopped him before he could continue. "I am going back, I'm not under your command anyway, I report to only the Alliance command, and if I seem to remember that you were under mine."

"As far as we know I'm all that's left of Alliance, so you do take orders from me, your new Admiral, so you'll be staying." I stepped closer knowing I looked intimidating, I had defied Alliance before, there was know doubt in my mind I would do it again.

"I-"

"Shepard!" The familiar voice boomed at me from across the room, I spun on my heels, my lips turning up in a smile.

"Wrex!? Your alive?" I went forward to meet him half way.

"Ha ha I should be asking you that, the news around is your dead!" He immediately crushed me in a massive bear hug, that made my feet leave the ground and the air escape my lungs.

"It's good to see you alive to, but if you don't stop I may not be much longer." He dropped me to my feet and took a step back, barking a laugh as he did so.

"I know you're tougher than that Shepard, after all you're an honorary Kroegan, and we don't die that easy." I chuckled at his answer, placed a hand on his shoulder shoving him gently, well enough to nudge him.

"I guess your right." I would have wondered why they didn't put Rex in charge seeing as how he was technically of higher rank than Coats, but Wrex just didn't seem to have what it takes to handle reconstruction, he was a warrior plain and simple, and speaking of Coats… I looked back at him and gave him a look that said we would finish our conversation at another time, it was not over. Turning back to Wrex I followed him to the remnants of his Kroegan force.

* * *

A.N. Well I finally got the next chapter out, I know it been a long time, but I hope you enjoy it. Review if you liked it.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own mass effect or any of its characters.

Chapter 3

The bullet whizzed only inches above me, as I barely managed to take cover before it could take my head off. "This is not exactly what we were expecting, Garrus. " I dashed to the other side taking out a couple Cerberus soldiers as I did.

"Yeah I noticed, I didn't expect there to be this many and they seem to be more organized than I thought they would be. Like their receiving orders from… somebody." I stuck my head out and glanced around, damn they brought out another smoke screen, just what I needed.

"The question being who." The smoke screen cleared revealing the last of our enemies. Garrus took down a couple of them and I got the last but not before he could call in reinforcements.

"Damn it, you heard that right?" Garrus nodded. I looked back at EDI where she was working at the console. "EDI how much longer?"

"I should only take a moment longer, any more time and we will be at a severe disadvantage. This is an optimal area for Cerberus to exterminate us."

"Thanks for the info EDI, but we kinda already knew that." Garrus replied sarcastically. He scanned the area. "No sign of them yet." And of course he spoke to soon as four Cerberus drop ships showed up.

"EDI!?" I yelled back as I loaded my shot gun.

"Finished."

"Okay people move it." Garrus yelled as the door opened. I ran after him firing at the enemy as I did and got in just as they began to return fire. "Damn it, get that door shut!" Garrus yelled. I ran to the console and began the hacking process. Garrus was behind me taking out as many as he could. "Tali!"

"Got it!" The door closed and I stepped back from the console.

"I've found something." EDI said. I turned and Garrus motioned for me to follow him to EDI. Garrus placed his rifle on his back and I followed suit with my shotgun. We were safe, for now.

"What is it EDI?" I asked, I tried to make myself sound like I was truly interested, but everyone could tell I really wasn't. The only reason I was doing this was to try to keep my mind off of certain things. But I bent over her to take a look anyway.

"Cerberus communications." I scanned the screens but everything was encrypted so I couldn't understand it anyway. The gunfire coming from outside grew louder and the door we came through was now being cut through.

"Well we're gonna have to take it with us. You get this EDI, Tali we need that next door open for extraction. I'll hold them off if they get through."I headed to the next door; it was easier than the first but still took precious moments to get it open. EDI finished and came to help, just as I got it open.

"It's open lets go!" I yelled to Garrus and headed out the door and to the drop ship. Jumping inside and heading to the pilots seat, I tried to start it up only to have it fail. "Damn it…" I muttered and started the scans to see what needed repairs. The ship shook as Garrus and EDI jumped in after me.

"What's the hold up Tali?"

"Repairs, we took one too many hits when we landed. It should just take a moment." I heard the enemy coming and than Garrus and EDI began firing.

"Well hurry cause their here." Just a little more, connect this and… done.

"We're good." I said as I fired up the engine and took off. The door shut and Garrus came up and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Good job Tali." I nodded, and he turned and brought his hand to his ear.

"Normandy we're on our way back."

"Copy that, Garrus." Joker came in from the other end.

* * *

The fever I was running was ridiculous. I checked the suits analysis on my omnitool again, "107, keelah." That was 4 degrees above the norm. "How? I don't understand I didn't have a suit puncture, why would I have a fever?" Reaching across the bed I pulled the drawer open grabbing the antibiotics I needed. After I administered the antibiotics I laid out across the bed. "The weird thing is I don't even feel bad, what's going on?"

"I could run some tests if you wished Tali?" EDI's voiced chimed in and I jumped up from the bed startled.

"EDI you were listening?" I could feel my cheeks heat up and I realized I had been caught talking to myself.

"I thought you were talking to me Tali, or is the way organics seem to talk to themselves when contemplating matters?"

"Well yes they do, um, but I uh usually don't… that is." I stumbled on my words no doubt making myself seem even more ridiculous.

"That was a joke, Tali."

"Oh, yes I knew that." I choked out a fake chuckle hoping EDI would buy it.

"But of course if you wish to perform tests, I would be glad to do so."

"No, no, don't be ridiculous EDI, I'm sure I'm fine… but thank you."

"Of course." I waited a few minutes longer making sure EDI was gone, before I relaxed again. Why was it so awkward for me to be around people anymore? It had been almost a month since we stopped the Reapers and Shepard…died. How long would it take for me to be the same as I used to be?

Right away I knew the answer; I would never be the same again. I lay back against his pillow and closed my eyes. "I need to stop thinking about this…" I thought of what Garrus had told me. "Maybe there something that needs to be taken care of in engineering.

* * *

"Any news?" I looked at Wrex, sighing I sat next to him shaking my head. "Nothing, were trying the Quarians next, no one else is answering." I sighed and leaned on to the "bar" which was really just the rubble where Wrex was keeping his drink. "But the problem with that is there's no telling where they could be right now? The flotilla could be anywhere and if they were on Rannoch it's too far for any communication to reach them."

"Ha, this is just sad, now we're depending on the Quarians." He chugged the whiskey in his glass and reached for the bottle. "Shepard this battle was the greatest of my life, but had I known it would get me stuck on this God forsaken planet, while Bakara was pregnant… ah hell I would of done it anyway."

I chuckled at that, "Well I guess Earth is no better than Tuchunka now."

"Ha Ha Ha, the only difference is we did that to our own planet. You have the Reapers to thank for this, and me of course. I took down a couple of buildings on accident."

"Ha, are you sure it's only a couple?"

"It might have been a few more." Wrex chuckled as he pushed himself up; reaching for the bottle he pushed it into my hands. "Well I got go see about getting off this planet."

I examined the bottle, "Let me know when you do, and I'll be there." He waved his hand in recognition as he stumbled off a little bit tipsy. Looking back down at the bottle, I sighed, bottoms up.

* * *

The world around me is spinning which is definite sign that the drink was doing its job. I stepped out into the darkness and was greeted by the cool breeze of the night wind. Prickling my skin, giving me goose bumps. Even with the world spinning around me I could still navigate my way through the destruction. I didn't really know where I was heading,

I could have been walking for hours or only minutes. I really didn't know when I finally found the place. Hell I didn't even know I was looking for one. This was it, the very spot where Harbinger was at, the last place I saw my team, and Tali. Looking around it was just a barren waste land, it was a disaster. Everything was destroyed, there was nothing left. The Normandy, the crew, Tali, Earth, everything was gone or in rubble. There is no hope is there? Hope, that's what Coats said I gave. How could I possibly give others hope if I had none whatsoever to speak of.

Dropping down to the ground I just couldn't find enough in me to keep going. I wanted, no I needed to cry, but no tears would come. I guess I'm all dried up. God, how could I have sunken this low.

Not knowing why I felt compelled to look up. I was greeted by the sight of the clearest sky I had ever seen. It stunned me with the majesty of it all… the stars. "It's funny all this time I've been travelling through them, but I never seen them quite like this before."

Growing up in a city I never really saw the stars before, always to many lights to get a good view; and when I was travelling them I was to close to see the real beauty they held. Thinking of the stars, seeing them, ignited something inside me. If there was still this much beauty in the world, then there was still hope as well.

I could see myself right now, sitting here looking like a mess, what would my crew think, what would Tali think? "No." I couldn't do that to them, to myself. Pushing myself up, I looked back up at the stars, they were my new hope, for now at least. I have to show these to Tali, I have to make her see this hope as well, because there is no doubt in my mind she could use this right now. "Which gives me all the more reason, to get the hell off this planet. " I made the way back to the camp with new vigor in my step.

* * *

"Garrus this is just not a good time." The agriculture samples I had before all this happened still sat in front of me. All this time and I still hadn't gotten to them and for some reason this was more aggravating to me than anything ever before.

"Well, looks like someone woke up on the other side of the bed; that is how it goes right?" He came in on the other side of the com.

"How the hell am I supposed to know?" I snapped back, keelah I really am in a mood.

"That would be wrong side of the bed Garrus." EDI to? Just great.

"Thanks EDI, but the inputs really not needed." I knew that way I said it, showed that I was really not thankful, but I couldn't find myself to care.

"Very well Tali I will keep a respectable silence."

"Now I know something's up. What's going on?" I could tell by his tone that he wouldn't take no for an answer. I sighed.

"Its nothing Garrus really, I just haven't been able to get rid of a fever, and I didn't sleep well. I guess I'm just a little cranky is all." It was the truth, but why did it feel like a lie. "Look Garrus I really need to get back to these samples." Another lie, I know I'm not going to do them.

"Alright, I was actually trying to tell you EDI got the communications decrypted. We're needed in the War room."

"What why didn't EDI tell me?"

"I volunteered; you've not been the easiest person to deal with lately." I felt a twinge of guilt as he said this. Was I really that bad? Turning around I headed for the elevator.

"I'm on my way."

* * *

"From what I could decrypt, Cerberus is having there troops attack any alliance supply ships, as well as blocking all communication attempts going to and from Earth. Affectively, cutting of all supplies and attempts to help survivors." I entered after the meeting began, which did not go unnoticed by Miranda, but I came in soon enough to hear EDI explain the problem.

"So in other words, if we don't stop them, Earth won't survive." Miranda added. Walking across the room, she turned to add dramatic affect to her next statement. I couldn't help but noticed that when she did she looked graceful, and…perfect. Stupid Bosh' Tet. "We've found out who seems to be giving the orders… Kai Leng."

"What!? He can't be, he's dead, I saw Shepard kill him myself!" I yelled, my voice seemed to echo throughout the room and all eyes turned to me.

"Well, apparently" the way she said this made me feel like I was stupid, and I was ashamed of myself for her ability to do this. "He survived." She looked at me and dared me to challenge her; at least it seemed she was to me. I was about to take up her challenge, when Garrus placed an iron grip on my arm. I looked at him and he almost imperceptibly shook his head. Fine, have it his way. Looking back at Miranda I motioned for her to continue.

"So our last plan seems to have fallen through, as Leng can see right through our signal. So were gonna have to take things up a notch. Now were going to have to find them, and stomp them out, we'll go for anything we can get we need a lead to be able to find Leng, wherever he is." Her plan seemed sound enough, so I couldn't argue. "Alright get to work people."

As they all left I could feel all the eyes on me, maybe the tension between me and Miranda was more apparent than I thought. Everyone passed, until Ashley she stopped in front of me. "Hey Tali, how ya doing?" Now this was a surprise, after all this time I've known Ashley we have never carried on a full conversation on our own. So for her to approach me directly something was up.

"I'm doing fine, thank you for asking." She smiled and nodded.

"Look I'm just gonna say this, I know you lost Shepard, we all did. So I understand what you're going through. But you're going to have to put it behind you. We can't have you out on the field like this. Not only does this endanger your life, but everyone else on your team." She understands how I feel, how could she possibly… that's right she loved Shepard to. "Look I know this sounds harsh, but please just think about it." With that she left.

"Well that was a little harsh. Look Tali, she really shouldn't have said tha-"

"No" I interrupted Garrus. "She's right. I need to be on game, especially now. Garrus, EDI, I'm sorry, I haven't been giving my all, but from now on I am." I need to keep this feeling off the battlefield. I surprised Garrus, I could tell. I guess he wasn't expecting me to be so reasonable. "Well I have work to do." I left, heading back down to engineering. I may have understood what Ashley had said, but I didn't mean I wasn't extremely pissed about it. Keelah, I feel like my emotions are out of control.

My omni-tool went off alerting me that my fever had spiked, just what the hell is going on with me.

* * *

The sun was blazing; I had sweat pouring down my shirt, which was stuck to my body like glue. "Damn, it's been awhile since I did anything like this." I reached for the piece of rubble and tossed it onto the back of the truck.

"Really Commander, you shouldn't be doing this, let us. You saved us from the Reapers, so really let us take care of the rest." I looked up at him.

"Corporal, really, I'm happy to help. Besides I'd go crazy if I didn't do anything. Sitting around waiting for news is really not one of my strong points." He laughed at that and rearranged the rubble in the truck to make more room.

"Still Commander, I really couldn't let you do this for us." I sighed and turned. "Look I really do want to help." I reached for the next piece when I heard my name being shouted.

"Shepard!" Standing up straight, I turned around and saw the short Turian, whose name was Tanzin, from before, running up. "Shepard!" He ran up fast, stopping in front of me.

"Calm down Tanzin, take a breath." He shook his head.

"No sir, Your needed by Coats immediately, there is an unknown vessel heading this way!"

"Lets go!" Running as fast as I could, I headed to headquarters. Pushing the door open I rushed into frenzy. "Coats!"

"Over here Shepard!"

"What the hell is going on, do you have any idea who the hell this is?"

"Negative, we've tried to communicate, but they've met us in silence. We're preparing for the worse."I nodded checking the scans; they were descending fast, to fast to land properly. I heard the sound of a shotgun cocking behind me.

"Well Shepard, after one hell of a boring month, we might actually get a little action around here." I turned to see Wrex.

Walking past him and pulling my gun out I answered. "You can always hope."

* * *

A.N. Well that's the next chapter. Thanks for all the reviews and for the help with spelling things wrong. I think I fixed everything, but if I didn't my bad. Well review if you liked it.


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